For Your Emotional Baggage

So I said to myself, “What if I had a bag that was big enough to stuff a rabid possum in AND it had my logo on it– then would they offer me the Nobel Peace Prize?”

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Poke!

I don’t know which would disturb me more-knowing a guy with an empty head that you could poke your finger through, or knowing a guy with one freakishly long index finger. Because, dang it, he’d be really hard to buy for if you were going to give him gloves for Christmas!

The Spirit of the Banjo

Lunchtime conversations with my friends have gone off on many strange tangents before, but none so odd as the one inspired by something my friend Cameron said yesterday. I won’t drag out the narrative, suffice to say that the phrase “he had the spirit of the banjo on him” stopped me in my tracks.

Stranger still, I just realized this will be my second post involving banjos…maybe I have the spirit of the illustrated banjo on me! My life would be complete then.

Who dropped the ball?

As far as I can remember, this is honestly the first time I think I’ve drawn the old reliable “lump on the head with stars shooting out of it to represent pain” gag. So it’s sort of like you’re experiencing a piece of art history here! Do you feel awestruck? Are you giddy from the magnitude of this momentous occasion? Do you need to lie down and put your feet up? Can I get you some ice water?

Never Trust a Gastropod

I’m thinking that being shoved into a stinky garbage can would be even more humiliating if a big ol’ slimy snail was the one who put you there. That’s one of those things that would definitely wreck a man’s confidence.

The Dreaded Grinning Periscope Fish

Give me a minute, and I’m sure I can come up with a perfectly plausible, non-sanity questioning reason for this one.

Maybe.

Quick Note: Giving in to the hordes!

Because my multitudes of adoring fans demanded it…well, not really multitudes…actually just Sid…and he doesn’t really adore me…at least, I don’t think he does…don’t know…he might have a secret Jeff shrine I know nothing about…

Anyway. Java Man now has his own mug on my CafePress site. (I know, you’re thinking “Java Man…coffee mug…Gee, Jeff, that was a stroke of creative genius there.”)

GAAAH!

This doodle is going where none of my doodles from this blog have gone before!

I just opened up a store at CafePress, and this emotionally disturbed little guy gets the dubious honor of being the first image offered up.

I fully expect to make $1.5 billion in the first six weeks. I’ll probably take an early retirement after that. Then I’ll finally get to live my dream of driving around the country with my wife and kids in a beat up ’73 Winnebago RV, performing at state fairs as a family quartet specializing in bluegrass and thrash metal.

Check it out, and be part of the dream!

http://www.cafepress.com/jaggedsmile

Stylish AND Pointy

Because I, for one, think it is HIGH TIME that Viking helmets made their own fashion comeback! Who’s with me? Show of hands….