Archive for December, 2007

Merry Christmas, Tough Bob.

December 20, 2007

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Sooooo…what was the best Christmas present you ever got?

What was the worst?

What was the gift you always wanted but never got?

That is the ugliest… uuhhh… What IS that thing?

December 17, 2007

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Mangy cat? Unusually hirsute iguana? Kinkajou with severe dust allergies? I don’t know.

But for some reason I’m really thankful right now that the internet isn’t scratch-n-sniff.

Santa Clawed

December 14, 2007

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Tryptophan Powers…..ACTIVATE!

December 14, 2007

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I think it’s safe to assume that- if you were a superhero that looked like a roast turkey- the ability to shoot a tryptophan stun beam out of your forehead would naturally be one of your superpowers, right?

Of course, given that you’ve got little stubby wing-arms and drumsticks for legs, your overall effectiveness as a crime fighter is probably negligible at best.

If you were a superhero, what would your powers be?

Napalm on a stick!

December 6, 2007

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Dashing through the snow,
With a marshmallow aflame!
When it’s ten degrees below,
Arson’s a fun game!
Ha Ha Ha!

{This touching Christmas tune was inspired by watching a group of five-year-old boys incinerate….uhh, I mean roast…marshmallows at our town’s Christmas Tree lighting celebration.}

Suicide Nose Hamsters!

December 4, 2007

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I want this to be our Christmas card this year, but I don’t think my wife will go for it.