Merry Christmas, Tough Bob.

Sooooo…what was the best Christmas present you ever got?

What was the worst?

What was the gift you always wanted but never got?

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That is the ugliest… uuhhh… What IS that thing?

Mangy cat? Unusually hirsute iguana? Kinkajou with severe dust allergies? I don’t know.

But for some reason I’m really thankful right now that the internet isn’t scratch-n-sniff.

Santa Clawed

Tryptophan Powers…..ACTIVATE!

I think it’s safe to assume that- if you were a superhero that looked like a roast turkey- the ability to shoot a tryptophan stun beam out of your forehead would naturally be one of your superpowers, right?

Of course, given that you’ve got little stubby wing-arms and drumsticks for legs, your overall effectiveness as a crime fighter is probably negligible at best.

If you were a superhero, what would your powers be?

Napalm on a stick!

Dashing through the snow,
With a marshmallow aflame!
When it’s ten degrees below,
Arson’s a fun game!
Ha Ha Ha!

{This touching Christmas tune was inspired by watching a group of five-year-old boys incinerate….uhh, I mean roast…marshmallows at our town’s Christmas Tree lighting celebration.}

Suicide Nose Hamsters!

I want this to be our Christmas card this year, but I don’t think my wife will go for it.